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By Rudy Nielsen |
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This
is a true story that took place some years ago.
It is about three guys who decided to go elk
hunting in late fall, in a camper. They took off
early one morning under clear skies and with a
camper stocked with enough food and beverages
for five days. After driving for a full day,
they arrived at their favourite hunting spot in
the East Kootenays and proceeded to light a fire
and set up a cozy camp. Nothing in the world is
better than getting up on a clear, frosty
morning and not hearing a sound except for your
own breathing. As you walk, the ice crystals
break beneath your feet giving a feeling of
solitude and contentment. For five days it was
great hunting and total relaxation.... good
food, good company and good beverages. |
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Early
in the morning of the fifth day, after a hearty
breakfast of bacon and eggs, they decided they
had time for one more short hunting expedition
before leaving for home. On this last hunt one
of the three fell into a creek while crossing a
log and got soaked right up past his waist. |
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He
had a little difficulty getting out because even
though the main part of the creek was open and
flowing, he had to break some ice closer to
shore. Fortunately he was less than thirty
minutes from camp. All three met at the camper
at the appointed time, but the fellow who had
fallen through the creek was very cold and
shaking so badly his friends were worried about
him. They lit a fire, and after sipping some hot
rum, decided he should strip naked, get into a
sleeping bag in the back of the camper, and get
his circulation back. This he did. His two
friends hung up his clothes in the camper to
dry, climbed into the front of the truck and
headed for home. |
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About
two hours into their return trip, on a secondary
gravel road "Mother Nature" called to the guy
trying to get warm in the back of the camper. He
crawled out of the sleeping bag and knocked on
the back window (which in camper talk means
"stop, I have to visit Mother Nature"). So the
driver stopped to let his friend out, but
continued talking to his buddy beside him. The
guy in the back opened the door, looked out, saw
no one, decided his clothes were too wet to put
on, and climbed out, still naked. As he was
relieving himself a gust of wind came along and
slammed the camper door shut! The two guys in
front, were just cracking a beer and still
busily talking about the one that got away, when
they heard the door slam shut. They thought
their friend had climbed back inside, so after
waiting a minute to give him time to get back
into the sleeping bag, they took off. |
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The
naked friend, still relieving himself, and with
a very surprised look on his face, watched the
camper pull away. Thinking they were playing a
joke on him, he expected them to go a few
hundred yards and then come back.
He
stood there for several minutes when he heard a
car coming. Being naked, he ran across the ditch
and into the trees. Realizing what had happened,
he watched the vehicles go by and continued to
hide there for two hours, waiting for his
friends to return for him. By now it was late
afternoon and getting very cold. |
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Finally he
decided he was now on his own and had two
choices. He could freeze to death and keep his
dignity, or stand on the road, loose his
dignity, and hitch a ride. So he broke off two
aspen branches and slowly walked out to the road
holding one branch out in front and one branch
behind. He stood beside the road with his
branches and realized he would have to drop one
so he could hold a hand up to hitchhike. He
dropped the back branch, faced the traffic and
held out his thumb. Many
cars went by, all slowing down and giving him
strange looks but not stopping. Just before
dark, very cold and very worried, he decided he
had no choice but to stand in the
middle of the road and force a car to take him
to the nearest town. Finally a guy stopped, our
hitchhiker explained his story and the good
samaritan
offered him a ride and his jacket (which was a
couple of sizes too small for him). |
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He then
drove to the nearest town with a police station,
where our "victim" walked in, pulling the
borrowed jacket down as low as possible. With no
wallet or identification, it took 30 minutes to
explain what happened and to borrow a pair of
pants, a shirt and oversized shoes. |
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In
the meantime the camper had traveled 300 miles
before it had to stop for gas. One of the two
guys decided to check the camper to see how
their friend was doing. They soon realized what
had happened and immediately turned around and
headed back! It was not until two in the
morning, after many phone calls with various
police stations that everyone was reunited. |
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So
camper owners, when "Mother Nature" calls, stay
dressed, take your wallet, or best of all, buy a
camper with a toilet. |
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